


Mature for Her Age

by TypicalCampbell



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Comedy, F/M, OOC Hawkmoth, Post Reveal, Slightly crack, Theo Didn't know how old Ladybug is
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-17
Updated: 2016-05-17
Packaged: 2018-06-08 13:04:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6855838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TypicalCampbell/pseuds/TypicalCampbell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Theo Barbeau has had a thing for Ladybug for quite a while now. and It's become quite the source of friction between him and Chat Noir. But now that Ladynoir is an actual real thing, Chat finds he can't quite let it slide anymore. So he decides to have a little fun.</p><p>Theo is  Twenty Seven here, since we never get an actual age for him in the show.</p><p>Chat and Ladybug are still fifteen</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. He didn't know

**Author's Note:**

> rated T for language and some adult themes

The silence between that stretched between the two of them was intensely awkward. Theo Barbeau, known to him forevermore as Copycat, the only Akuma he’d had a direct hand in creating. He knew full well that Theo remembered as well. At least that’s what Theo’s glare was telling him. Ladybug might have set him right and cleansed his demons, but that apparently didn’t absolve Chat in the sculptor’s eyes.

 

Chat would have to admit to himself, he  _ was sorry. Mostly.  _ He still definitely want the artist anywhere near his Lady, but lying wasn’t the way to go about it. He’d have to apologize after the ceremony.  

 

The ceremony in question was  _ yet another _ statue being dedicated to Ladybug, and once again she was depicted on top of him, and  _ not  _ in the way he’d prefer. Clearly the Mayor and Paris didn’t mind the fact that the sculptor had carved him kneeling, head bent, with lady bug perched on his raised arms proudly.  Honestly, did Theo not comprehend the concept of forgiveness? And on that note, where were the outraged Chat Noir fans, complaining that he was being depicted as a glorified palanquin bearer? For gods’ sakes, he was a HERO.   Ladybug had raised an eyebrow at the poses, but otherwise remained silent as the mayor extolled her virtues aloud to the people of Paris.   Once she’d finished her speech, she shot him a look and nodded towards the rooftops. 

 

“I’ll join you for patrol in a few minutes, my Lady. I’d like to go apologize to yonder Artiste, I never did get a chance to a-paw-ligize for the Copycat thing”  That earned him a sceptical glance (she had been unaware that akuma had been her kitty’s fault) but she nodded and swung off. He sauntered over to the older man, noticing to his chagrin that Theo had been glancing  _ at his Lady’s ass _ as she left.   Now, Chat had done his fair share of Ladybooty appreciating, but that was entirely different. She was His Lady.  Perhaps he needed to say sorry, but that definitely wasn’t all he was going to say.

 

“What do You want? Gonna try to convince you Ladybug is your girlfriend again?” Theo spat at him. ”Ladybug set me straight on that little score last time we spoke.”

 

“Whoa, whoa. Theo, I just came over to beg your pardon. I was caught in a moment of weakness, and I may have misled you a bit last time we spoke. I implied that My Lady and I were more than we were, and that was wrong.”  Chat flashed a bashful smile, and scratched his neck.  “Can you blame me for being jealous though?  She’s just so incredible. Not to mention she just looks so good in that suit, am I right?” with that, Theo’s expression softened, and his gaze shifted off into space

 

“Yeah, that’s fair enough I guess. You’re right about her being amazing.”   _ And the game is afoot. _

 

“Oh so you admit you like the way that spandex hugs her curves?” He grinned his cheshire grin, and the Cat eye’s of his mask seemed to glow maliciously, but Theo was too unfocused to notice.

 

“I-I mean… Well, I “

 

“Theo, Theo, It’s okay. We’re both men here. You can admit it.” Chat waggled his eyebrows.

 

“I mean.. Ladybug is just..  Well, you’re right about her being beautiful..”

 

“How so?”

 

“HER ASS, OKAY? And her legs, and her feet, ugh. And those ponytails, for God’s sake, they’re miraculous.”  _ You have no idea, Barbeau. No Idea. _

 

“Oh I definitely don’t disagree there,” Chat made a show of scratching his head, as if a thought had just occurred to him.  “She’s so mature for her age, too!”

 

“Yeahhhh. W-wait what do you mean?”

 

“Oh, nothing. Just realized, how far ahead of everyone else she was the other day when we were talking about her sweet sixteen birthday party next year.” He grinned again. “Say, how old are you again, Theo?

 

“W-w-wait so.. Oh my god, I’ve been.. And I was… OH MY GOD I’VE BEEN LUSTING AFTER A MIDDLE SCHOOLER?!?”   The artist sprinted off behind the stage, and Chat heard the sounds of retching. The second he’d sprung onto the roof, Plagg released his transformation and the pair fell onto the roof, both of them dying of laughter.

  
  


“O-oh sweet quantium kid, that was hilarious. His expression was better than Brie, seriously. What a friggin creep.”

 

“I know right?” Chat said between hiccupping laughs. “ I can’t believe he bought the whole ‘ The suit makes it hard to tell’ line. As if it wasn’t obvious from a thousand yards that we’re both teenagers. What a pervert.”

  
  
  


“Some apology that was, chaton.” came the slightly disapproving tone behind him.

 

“I mean, the first part was clearly an apology, Mar-bear.  But when some creepy older guy with a soul patch is checking out my princess’s  _ ass _ ets right in front of me, sometimes I need to teach him a lesson.  A hilarious lesson.”

 

“Oh? Maybe I like being admired by older men, kitty.” She was smiling, and she released her transformation as well as she walked over to him.

 

“A: Ouch, bugaboo. I can’t believe you’d try to make me jealous like that.  And B: Don’t make me kinkshame you Marinette.” That earned him a laugh and a punch.

  
  
  
  
  


Theo was finally finished losing his lunch in the bathroom when a black butterfly floated in the window and alighted on his soul patch. 

 

“ **Do you wish to get revenge on Chat Noir for once again humiliating you, Theo Barbeau? Do you wish to wash away your shame in blood and carnage?”** Theo nodded, desperate for anything to get the thought that Ladybug, hero of Paris and frequent visitor in his non- G rated dreams was  _ fifteen _ . “ **Good. This time, you shall be known as the Kitty Fiddler.”**

 

“WWWHAT OH MY GOD NO! WHAT THE FUCK!?!?”

  
  
  
  
  


Miles away, Hawkmoth sat in his lair, laughing his ass off and shaking his head. 

  
“Lusting after a fifteen year old. What a freak.”


	2. The Kitty Fiddler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our Heroes meet the Kitty Fiddler
> 
> Hawk Moth needs a laugh every once in a while. Being a supervillain is stressful damnit

 

The ... _ goddamnit HawkMoth you purple suited pun loving piece of _ (This line of thought was rudely interrupted by the aforementioned villain shocking Theo through their magical link quite painfully)

 

The Kitty Fiddler stood atop a roof in the middle of the seventh arrondissement, sending shockwaves down at the crown of people with his violin that he couldn’t actually play. In the end, it just ended up sounding like nails on a chalkboard as he dragged the bow across the strings.  

_ This is why we don’t give villains weapons for the sake of a fucked up joke, Hawkmoth! I’m useless with this thing! _

 

**_SHUT UP AND STOP RUINING MY FUN._ **

 

Everywhere the horrendous shrieking blasts landed, the people were… turned into fifteen year old girls  _ oh for fuck’s sake.. _

 

The only response that telepathic outburst earned him was Hawkmoth’s laughter.

 

He was SO. FUCKING. DONE.

  
  
  
  


The Patrol was actually going reasonably well so far, if you didn’t account for the seven consecutive times Chat had almost faceplanted because of something his Queen had said.

 

She didn’t quite warm up to  ‘My Queen’ the way she had to princess and My Lady, but he insisted that since they were actually dating now, she needed a promotion. Speaking of dating, the reason he kept having to catch himself mid-trip was because when Ladybug turned on the flirt she didn’t mess around. At all. Thank God for magic, because Chat was reasonably sure everyone in Paris would’ve gotten a pretty detailed look at his Little Agreste if the suit had been real skintight leather.  The woman had him helplessly tied around her finger via magical yoyo and she knew it too well. If she hadn’t set very strict rules about fraternizing on the job he would have-  

 

His line of thought was rudely interrupted by a ringing on the baton. He clicked open the communicator, and Alya Cesaire’s face popped up looking rather panicked.

 

“Chat Noir. You and Ladybug need to get to the Seventh Arrondissement now! Akuma!”

 

No hello. No ‘How did I get this number? Funny you ask.’  Jeez. Marinette’s bestie was  _ ruuuuude _ .   He sighed, and called out for his lady.

  
  
  
  


“BWAHAHAHAHAHAH,   heh  Oh My God. Theo?”  Chat Noir was actually dying. He’d been hurt, stabbed, shot, flung off the Eiffel tower, and erased from existance, but HawkMoth was going to kill him with simultaneously the best and most cruel pun ever made. Before him stood Theo Barbeau, dressed in a terrible fuzzy cat suit with a fiddle in his hands and a new (and tres creepy) moustache to match his usual soul patch. The best part was, Ladybug didn’t even get it. She was still gawking at the bizarre costume and trying to figure out what the hell he was supposed to be. 

 

“Chat, there’s an Akuma! What the hell are you laughing about??”

 

“Milady, don’t you get it?! It’s Theo, dressed as a cat, with a fiddle.  Theo the Cat… Fiddler.  The Kitty—” Theo beat him to it.

 

“My NAME ISN’T— Hawk Moth Do I REALLY HAVE TO” Theo was visibly electrocuted by akuma magic. Apparently Hawk Moth was invested in the joke.  “Ughghh  Fine. My name isn’t Theo. It’s” He sighed deeply, and Chat spoke in unison with him “ The Kitty Fiddler.”  

 

Chat literally fell onto the roof laughing and clutching his sides. Ladybug tried to keep her composure. She really did, honestly. But the damn cat’s laughter was infectious, and next thing she knew, she was on the rooftop next to him, pounding a fist on the bricks and trying to get her breath back as a purple mask lit up the Kitty Fiddler’s face and a breathless Hawkmoth said

 

**_Now’s -heh heh-  your chance! Grab -pfffff-   grab their miraculahahahahah_ **

  
Theo was going to kill somebody.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed the story folks. Let me know if you enjoyed it plz. Your praise is all that keeps me going through the long cold nights


End file.
